A message to the masses (i.e. no one) on the eve of war. Dieting war.

Welcome to the eve of my 10-Week Healthy Eating Challenge. My name is Penny, I'm 22 and I weigh 98kg, which is why I've decided to make a drastic change in my way of living, starting with 10 weeks of the Eat to Live diet. This pretty much consists of fruit, vegetables, grains, beans, nuts and seeds. Meat, sugar, dairy and fruit juice (except for a few squeezes of lemon juice to dress salads and add flavour to cooked veggies) are a no-go. The extreme version also eliminates grains in the first stage, reintroducing them in the maintenance stage, which is what I have decided to do. I have also committed to walking/jogging 5 km every morning, each time increasing the amount of jogging and decreasing the amount of walking so that, hopefully, by September 12 I will be able to jog the whole 5 km.

My goal: to lose 20kg in 10 weeks.

My daily plan is as follows:

5.30 am: 5km walk/jog

1/2 hour stretches and toning exercises

Breakfast: Fruit smoothie

Frozen berries

3 pieces of other fruit

1 tsp Flaxseed Oil

30g Mixed nuts and seeds

1/2 Lemon, including rind

1 cup Water

Lunch: Salad

2 Cups of lettuce

Vegetables

50g Avocado

Squeeze of lemon juice

-or-

Vegetable Soup

Boiled and pureed vegetables

1/8 Cup of light coconut milk

1 tsp of Red curry paste

1/2 cup of Water

Dinner: Grilled/Steamed Vegetables

Vegetables

Chilli

Lemon Juice

Garlic

6.00 pm: 90 minutes of Yoga (Mon-Thurs only)

1/2 hour toning exercises

This is pretty ambitious, since I currently do not exercise and frequently eat junk food. I am, however, determined, and hopefully by writing a blog entry every day I will stay motivated and see steady results over the next ten weeks. Even if I don't make my target (which I will) I know that I will at least have improved my health to some degree, which is only a good thing. I also just can't wait to fit into my old jeans. I'm not used to it, only having put on an alarming amount of weight over the last 18 months. Prior to that I weighed about 65 kg and I was gorgeous- now, men don't look at me and I look awful in clothes. I'm not quite sure why the weight gain began, but it quickly turned into a perpetual cycle of not wanting to go out because I thought I looked too fat, so I would stay home and eat instead, which obviously only exacerbated the problem. But the past is the past, and I have to look at what I am now and what I can do to ensure my own happiness in the future, and that is to be able to lean forward in the bath without a mound of stomach fat blocking my way. I have actually enjoyed being fat- it's quite funny to see the largeness of myself in the mirror, to know the ridiculousness of not being able to touch my toes because I'm farcically overweight and to wander down the street in the anonymity of my excessive jolliness, knowing that no one pays attention to people who are too big to be attractive but not big enough to be a spectacle (which isn't far away if I don't get a grip).

It has also been good for me in a different way, namely in the huge learning curve it delivered to the back of my head with a great thud. I have been, I confess, quite awful in my time. Up until the weight gain I was beautiful and attractive, and I knew it. I had a group of girlfriends that I was close to at school and after we left and started going out, I began to get a lot of attention from men, while the other girls didn't because they themselves were large at the time. I started to get quite an ego and began subtly flaunting it in the face of the girls. I started to go out with different people, the people who I thought I wanted to be associated with rather than these fat, unattractive girls. I still hung out with them when we weren't in public, though, and I made my disapproval of their appearance quite clear. I thought I was better than them because I could fit into a size 8 (Aus) dress and I bad-mouthed them to my new, better-looking friends. There were plenty of men who were vying for my attention. If I were to see those girls while I was in the company of my current boyfriend I would avoid them and pretend I didn't know them, because I was so ashamed of them. I was an absolute little whore-bag brat, and I don't know why they put up with me instead of kicking me to the curb like I did to them. Instead, after years of maltreatment, they welcomed me back into the fold as if I had never been the stuck-up, arrogant bitch with an attitude that I had been. I now know what it is like to be so big, unattractive and invisible. I will never, never, never again look down on my friends for their appearance, as long as they are kind people and true friends. While I certainly don't condone obesity or unhealthy eating and exercise habits, I now know that I should have been more supportive to them and tried to encourage them to develop better habits by asking them to join me for a jog or a swim, and cooking healthy meals together. I appreciate them far more now than I ever did, and unsurprisingly I have not been contacted recently by any of the 'beautiful' people that I met during my wayward time. But, again, it was a learning experience, and I know that I don't want to be slim and gorgeous and convinced of my own superiority, but I also know that I don't want to be so obese, unfit and unhealthy that I am too ashamed to leave the house, even though I'm desperate to go out and have fun. No, all I want is to be healthy and strong, and surrounded by my gorgeous, forgiving, fun, dynamic, intelligent, creative friends. I want to be beautiful, yes, but beautiful with health and happiness, not with the stench of arrogance that I reeked of before. I am actually quite desperately grateful for this experience now that I have been able to reflect on the person that I had become, which is so far from who I want to be.

I will never again allow myself to make another woman feel ugly in my presence. Instead, I will do all I can to make every person around me know that my glow of beauty is only a reflection of their own loveliness. That is my promise to myself and to the men and women on this fine planet, and with that, I welcome you to join me on an adventure that not only involves a physical transformation, but, more importantly, a mental and spiritual liberation.

Game on.